Chapter 12

My mother began to tell me the story of Aunt Hana, the beautiful divorcée. She started by explaining that she wasn’t betraying her friend’s confidence by sharing her story because Aunt Hana herself had asked my mother to tell it to me. She wanted me to learn from her experience as I embarked on my married life and avoid the mistakes she had made.

The story began with my mother’s words.

"Hana and I had been friends since middle school, and our friendship grew deeper, eventually involving our families. Although everyone in our small town knew each other, my bond with Hana strengthened these connections. We progressed through our studies together, even attending the same university, albeit in different fields.

Hana was, and still is, a captivating woman. Her charm wasn’t tied to her eyes, her small nose, or her round face—she was simply attractive, someone you could never tire of seeing or being around. A university professor noticed her appeal and chose her as a bride for his son. This marked the beginning of her story. Like any decent girl, she loved only one man—her husband. Her attachment to him was profound. They spent all their time together when he returned for his weekly leave, as he worked as an engineer at a distant oil refinery.

During his leave, they were inseparable. Since she was studying far from her family, the circumstances allowed them to meet more often. But eventually, they were alone together, like any married couple would be. When Hana later told me her story, she never blamed him, saying that in such situations, it’s the woman who has control. With just one word, she could have saved her entire future.

Honestly, with each word my mother spoke, I felt a mix of amazement, embarrassment, and an overwhelming curiosity to know more, so I didn’t interrupt. My mother continued.

Hana’s husband didn’t abandon her, as we often hear in such stories. He married her just a month after the incident. But their life together wasn’t as they had planned. It was cold—so cold that even in their most intimate moments, she saw a look of disgust in his eyes. He tried hard to conceal it, but Hana’s keen eyes caught it, or maybe what had happened between them made her imagine it.

Five months into the marriage, Hana received the most wonderful news any woman could receive—she was pregnant with their first child. But her joy was crushed when she told her husband about the pregnancy, which she believed was a lifeline for their sinking marriage. My mother paused and asked, ‘Do you know why her joy was crushed?’

I shook my head, indicating that I didn’t know.

She continued, ‘When she told her husband, he was stunned. He lowered his head, sat on the nearest chair, and said, ‘I seek forgiveness from God, and I repent to Him. Patience, oh Lord.’

She couldn’t bear the situation and didn’t want to argue, so she left him alone. Their relationship became unbearably cold.

Then came the day when her husband sat her down for a serious conversation and put everything on the table. It marked the end of their relationship.

He told her that he had tried hard to accept his life with her, sought refuge from Satan, and continued their marriage, but he couldn’t go on. With tears in her eyes, she asked, ‘What we did, was it wrong? You are my husband under God’s law.’

He pointed to his head and said, ‘These thoughts will drive me mad if I stay with you. Would you prefer a mad husband or a sane father for your child? Choose: either we stay together, and I become a mad husband and father, or we separate, and I remain a sane father.’

Hana chose separation because, as she said, every problem in marriage has a solution except when a husband can’t accept his wife—there’s no fixing that.

She divorced him while pregnant with their son, Mustafa, in her sixth month. He emigrated and never returned, never remarried. He left her the house and all its furnishings, signed over in her name, and told both his family and hers that they divorced because he wanted to leave the country while she wanted to stay. They agreed to use this excuse to explain the split, even though it was a lie. The divorce went through, and Hana refused to remarry, saying she had given all her emotions to her husband. Since those feelings were sincere, she had none left to offer anyone else.

After giving birth to Mustafa, she said she developed a different kind of love that was solely for him and would never belong to anyone else. She raised Mustafa with the utmost care, and now he’s an engineer, following in his father’s footsteps. She never tarnished his view of his father, keeping their relationship separate from Mustafa’s connection with him. I never heard her speak ill of Mustafa’s father. She always said, ‘I brought this upon myself.’"

This was Aunt Hana’s story. What do you think of it?

My mother ended her tale with this question.

I replied, "Is this why you were worried when Faisal visited?"

She answered, "Yes, I see in you the same deep attachment Hana had for her husband, and I fear you might repeat her story."

She continued, "When I see the love for Faisal in your eyes, I thank God from the bottom of my heart, but at the same time, I pray that God protects you from this love and protects this love from you and Faisal. Mona, I won’t monitor you or restrict you, but I’m telling you that your love for Faisal depends on how wisely you manage it. Don’t suffocate or kill it, but don’t give it complete freedom and risk losing it. Act according to your conscience, and don’t let your emotions carry you away in an irrational manner that could lead to a crossroads between you and your husband."

I interrupted her, "Not all men are like Hana’s husband."

She replied, "But we don’t know what kind of man Faisal is in such situations, and I hope we never find out."

"If you truly love Faisal, protect that love and keep Hana’s story in mind."

I answered, "I’m your daughter, raised by you. I hope you can put your worries to rest. Nothing will happen that will disappoint you. Trust me, these are just the whispers of Satan."

My mother replied, "No matter how much I try to push the worry away, it always finds another way to come back. I won’t have peace of mind until I see you and Faisal settled in your own home, and when you become a mother, God willing, you’ll understand how I feel."

She kissed me, and I bent down to kiss her hand. I said, "I’ll never disappoint you."

She left my room after saying, "May God protect you and keep all harm away from you."

I was left alone, unable to shake the image of Aunt Hana from my mind. How had she managed to endure her beloved’s coldness at the start of their marriage? How had she coped with losing him? Just the thought of separation made me feel like I was losing my mind. May God help Aunt Hana, who never showed any signs of depression despite her experience. Does she embody the poetic verse: "The bird dances even as it is slaughtered, out of pain?"

I prayed from the depths of my heart for her peace. I don’t know why I felt such a deep ache in my heart for Aunt Hana.

After my thoughts settled from the storm caused by Aunt Hana’s story, I sent Faisal a message, letting him know that I would be spending the night with my friend Wafaa, so I wouldn’t be able to talk to him that evening. I needed time to think about this excuse.