Chapter 20

Are you tired of waiting and eager to hear the story? Here it is, dear readers, laid out before you. And no, I don't regret what happened; it was just a joke that we enjoyed, a welcome break from the monotony of studying.

It was a gathering of friends, all of whom were bonded by the challenges and complexities of our first year of studies. At the time, I was staying in the university dormitory while Hussam was preparing our new home. My friendship with Ahlam was at its peak, starting strong from the very first moment, thanks to her cheerful spirit and the comfort I felt around her.

I shared a room with three other girls who were in the same academic year as me. Ahlam often visited us, and we would work together to understand our coursework. Sometimes, she would spend the entire day with us and even sleep over. As you can imagine, a group of girls doesn’t spend all their time studying—there’s always plenty of joking around, and sometimes the fun outweighs the academics.

One day, Ahlam brought her expensive phone with her. It had a high-quality recording and camera feature, and we struggled to sneak it into the dormitory, but our youthful spirit of adventure and risk prevailed. We had a habit of taking breaks to eat, joke, or relax. On this occasion, one of the girls suggested we record our voices on Ahlam’s phone, with each girl choosing a unique way to stand out. We agreed to keep the recording as a memory, planning only to listen to it at our graduation party and then delete it. If anyone wanted to keep their recording, they would have to re-record their voice later.

We couldn’t decide on what to say until one of the girls suggested we talk about our admiration for Professor Ghadnafar, each in her own way. The idea appealed to us, especially since we all admired Professor Ghadnafar—a sentiment shared by nearly every girl at the university. He was extremely handsome, incredibly polite, and to our great fortune, we often found ourselves near where he parked his car while waiting for our driver to take us back to the dorm. As soon as he appeared, our eyes would fixate on him as if he were a magnet for our attention, though he probably didn’t notice or didn’t mind.

Ahlam started first, speaking in an extremely bold manner. She’s very daring, and since it was just a joke, we all laughed it off. Another girl followed, matching Ahlam in her audacity. Then came my turn—do you think I was any different? Of course not. I said something just as bold. It was all part of our harmless fun, just a bit of playful banter among friends.

As the first academic year ended, the three girls I was living with changed their major to dentistry and requested Ahlam delete their parts of the recording, which she did. However, we kept my part and Ahlam’s to listen to at our graduation, never imagining that it would one day mark the end of our friendship.

What happened between Faisal and me afterward was something I never expected from myself. When I first heard the recording, I gasped. In the middle of listening, I felt a deep shame for the words I had spoken, which didn’t embarrass me back then but now fill me with regret. By the end of the recording, a strange numbness overcame me. Perhaps it was the numbness of someone who has lost everything and no longer has anything to defend.

Faisal remained silent, rubbing his hands and occasionally glancing at me, then at his hands. He stayed quiet for a long time before finally speaking: “Do you have an explanation? If you care to explain, and if I’m the right person for you to explain this recording to.”

At that moment, I felt a trembling within, a growing anger. Yes, he had the right to question me, but I wouldn’t allow him to doubt my integrity. I replied, "What we have can end with a single word, so don’t make it harder on both of us." He responded sharply, "And does explaining this recording lead us to that word?" I matched his tone, saying, "I won’t explain anything, and that’s enough damage to my life. You’re the one who brought things to this point. Ahlam was my friend, and now she’s my enemy. She used moments of fun and turned them into weapons against me, all because of you. What would it have cost you to maintain our friendship and look for your partner elsewhere, away from me and Ahlam?"

Faisal moved closer, trying to grab my hand, but I stood up and moved out of his reach, shouting, "Faisal, it’s over, please, it’s over." He grabbed my hand, saying, "What if I took this recording to Hussam? What if I divorced you and told him the reason? How do you think he would feel? Leave me and our relationship out of it; just imagine me as your brother’s friend discovering this recording. How would he view his sister and his friend?"

Fear gripped me, and tears threatened to flow, but I held them back with all my anger, forcing them to stay in place. I replied, "If Hussam were to tear me apart, that’s my business, not yours. After he calms down, I’ll explain everything, and I’m confident in what I did. Go ahead, let him hear what you heard." Inside, I was silently pleading, Faisal, have mercy, don’t do this. But he coldly responded, "Let Hussam be the judge between us. If I don’t get an explanation, I’ll take other actions."

I retorted, "Then hurry with those other actions. I’m tired of being the villain in Ahlam’s eyes, the one who must be punished, and of playing the loving wife who must accept everything."

He questioned, "Playing the loving wife?" Then added, "So you’ve been pretending all along?" I replied coldly, "I left the acting to you; you’re good at it, and Ahlam is even better. Just leave me alone; my love for you has left me wounded, knowing how much she loves you."

I continued, "Do you remember when you said Ahlam was between us? Well, here you are again, placing her between us." He sighed deeply before saying, "Is what’s on the recording logical? Is it rational? Can anyone think logically about it? That recording is a disaster; haven’t you realized that yet? Imagine it spreading under the title ‘So-and-so’s Wife’ or ‘So-and-so’s Sister.’ Imagine what would happen then. For me, I could leave and go back to my country, but you and your family would be the ones to bear the scandal."

I tried to respond, but he put his hand over my mouth and continued, "I’m not foolish. A girl your age has surely had a moment of admiration in her life. I know well that in our society, girls suppress their admiration and never show it; it might even die without being expressed, and they save their feelings for their husbands. That’s how most respectable girls are." He emphasized the word "respectable."

When he removed his hand, I told him, "I am respectable, despite what anyone thinks, and I won’t explain anything further. The absurdity of Ahlam’s revenge because of you must end."

He responded sarcastically, "Why? Is there something else Ahlam knows that you’re afraid will come out? Is there more than just this recording?"

I answered coldly, "When you decided to marry, didn’t you inquire about the morals of your future wife, or did you just rely on her brother’s reputation?"

He replied, "Of course, I inquired, but apparently not thoroughly enough. I should have asked Ahlam to know the secrets behind the scenes."

I told him, "Go ask her, let her tell you whatever she wants. It no longer matters to me whether it’s true or false. Our journey together is over. Goodbye, Faisal." Then I added, "Please, let’s part in peace."

He grabbed his car keys from the table, stood up, and said, "There will be no peace, ever." He left me in a state I can’t describe. A strange calm settled over my life—no longing for Faisal, no desire for reconciliation, not even a yearning to hear about him. Just calm, and nothing more.

The next day, I went to the university, determined to face my fears by confronting Ahlam and addressing what remained unresolved, like embers hidden under the ashes, ready to ignite into a blaze.

I found her in our usual spot. I greeted her and said, "Ahlam, let’s talk openly. I’m tired of beating around the bush and leaving matters unresolved."

Ahlam looked surprised and replied, "What do you mean?" I answered, "I mean Faisal, you, fate, and your belief that I betrayed you. Your love for him without me knowing, leading both of you, unknowingly, to push me into an endless series of problems."

Ahlam responded firmly, "I won’t let you talk. The matter is closed. I’m now married to someone else, and I have no desire to discuss a past that disrespects my husband and my love for him."

I answered sharply, though trying not to attract attention, "But you succeeded in making me lose respect for myself first, and for my husband second."

She tried to interrupt, but I didn’t let her. I continued, "You mentioned an ‘item’ that I assumed was something trivial, but it turned out to be a bomb that shattered my heart and is on the verge of ruining my reputation."

Ahlam’s voice rose as she asked, "Did Faisal listen to the content of the memory card I gave him?"

I replied, "Isn’t that what you wanted all along?"

She swore that she never intended for Faisal to hear it and never expected him to. Then, she pleaded, "Mona, believe me. Faisal… I won’t say he means nothing to me anymore, but I’ve become the wife of a wonderful man, and I’m trying to fill the space Faisal once occupied in my mind and heart. Restoring my friendship with you is the first step to making my marriage a success and moving on from Faisal for good."

I replied, "But you’ve ruined my life."

She answered, "I’ll fix it."

I warned her, "Ahlam, please, let things take their course. I’m tired of everything. As for our friendship, I hope it ends, or at least takes a break until my wounds heal."

Then I added, "It seems that knowing about your feelings for Faisal has clouded my thoughts and made me suspicious of your actions. I find it hard to believe what you say."

Ahlam tried to speak, but I cut her off, saying, "Didn’t I tell you that my thoughts have become distorted and I don’t recognize myself anymore?"

I gathered my things and left her sitting there, silent. I then prepared myself for another confrontation with my mother.

Note: Let fun and play in our lives stay within reasonable limits. With the advancement of technology, jokes have evolved too, becoming a dangerous game.