Chapter 17

An hour later, Jace and I were on the road once again and heading back to Jace's place. My mother refused to see us or even the nurse again and I knew that nothing would change her mind.

Thoughts of my father now poisoned my mother’s every thoughts and that was a powerful enough thing to make her blind to the situation. It would be no use to try to gain her forgiveness. Not now. Only time would be able to heal the damage done. Even then, there was only a slight chance for forgiveness.

My swollen eyes wandered out the passenger side window as the nurse's words replayed repeatedly in my head. They were words that I never expected and that I would never be able to forget.

"Avery, your father has been battling cancer for over thirteen years now. His body has been shutting down slowly and all of the drinking has finally taken him down. He was admitted to the hospital earlier today after being attacked in an alleyway. It was then that they noticed the cancer had taken its toll. There was nothing that anyone could do to save him. He did this to himself. He was an addict."

"Avery." Jace's deep voice called out.

I slowly reached up, hands shaking as I wiped the tears from off my puffy cheeks. Then I turned to face him, keeping my eyes glued to my hands that were now moist from the tears that wouldn't seem to stop falling.

"Are you okay?" he questioned. His emerald eyes looked dark as they scanned mine and then set back on the road. "Would you like me to stop somewhere? We can take a rest and get something to eat."

My stomach growled at just the thought of food, but I knew that keeping any food down wouldn't be an option at the moment. "No," I whispered. "I'm not hungry. I just want some rest."

I leaned into the black leather seat and closed my eyes. I had no idea that my father had cancer and the thought made me sick. I had a feeling that not even my mother knew. All of those years he’d kept that huge secret to himself. One that had probably been eating at him and tearing him apart bit by bit as he died a little more each and every day.

Every day he had to live with the pain and face the fact that he was dying. Maybe he couldn't face the fact. Maybe that's why he was never sober. He turned to drugs and alcohol to numb the pain. That was why my mother stayed. She did know the good side at one point. She spent her life waiting for the good Henry to return. The one that at one time possibly adored her and maybe even myself. I was going to be sick.

"Stop the car!" I threw my hand to my mouth as the vomit threatened to spew through my parted lips. "Stop!"

Jace quickly pulled the car over and jumped out of the car right as I managed to swing my door open and fall out on my knees. The hard gravel dug into my bony knees as the world spun around me and the vomit escaped through my parted lips. The only thing that kept me sane was the feel of Jace's strong hand rubbing the back of my head. Nothing else in the world seemed to make sense at the moment. He was the only thing that seemed real to me. The only thing keeping me alive.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry," I cried. "I should have stayed with you. I did this. Everything is my fault." I brought my knees to my chin and rocked back and forth, as he continued to rub my head. "I left to keep you safe and I still managed to mess things up. I'm nothing but a-"

"No," he whispered. "None of this was your fault. You had no control over your father or your mother for that matter. You have been through so much and it's time for you to move on. This is your chance." He pulled me into his arms and fell down on the ground next to me. "This is what it feels like to be loved," he swallowed. "Let me get you home."

I stared up at him in confusion as he jumped to his feet, helped me up and back into the car. All of the color drained from his usually tanned face as he wiped the ass of his jeans off and gently reached over to buckle me in. I wanted to question what he had just meant, but I couldn't seem to form any words. Not the ones that I wanted to at least. "Okay," I whispered. Thank you."

He looked down at me while chewing on his lip in frustration. He looked as if he had something to say, but decided against it at last minute. Then without another word, he jogged to his side of the car and jumped in.

We arrived back at Jace's house to find a little silver Honda now sitting in the driveway. Jace's eyes went wide as we pulled up behind the car and Jace nervously slammed the car into park. He looked lost as his eyes focused on the figure that now sat on his front porch. It was too dark to tell, but I was almost positive that it was a woman.

"It's my sister," he whispered. "She hasn't come to my house in over three years. There has to be something wrong." He ran his hands through his hair and exhaled. "Shit."

I sat there frozen in place as he jumped out of the car and hurried over to his sister. They both stood there in silence before Jackie threw her frail arms around Jace and he pulled her into his arms. I could see Jackie's body shaking as she fell to her knees and gripped his shirt. The sight in front of me brought me to tears. I could tell even from far away that they were both crying.

I never in my life had seen a man cry and it broke my heart to pieces. Jace was the strongest person that I knew and to see him cry crushed me. He really did have the biggest heart in the world. First, he was there to take care of me and now his sister. He had to have a heart of steel to be so strong.

I waited in the car until Jace looked my direction and nodded his head.

He smiled as I stepped out of the car, popped a piece of gum in my mouth and walked over to stand in front of him and Jackie. "Go on inside and get some rest." He kissed his sister on the forehead and watched as she smiled at me and headed inside. She looked as if she had been crying for days. Her cheeks were swollen and red and she could barely even open her eyes. By looking at her, you would think that she hadn't slept in over a week. Jace really had his hands full with the both us.

I stood there feeling lost, but somewhat relieved as the door softly shut behind Jackie. Jace peered over his left shoulder to look at me. He nodded his head and then walked over to lean against the porch. His eyes scanned mine as he played with his leather jacket. "She left him, Avery." He let out a small grunt and then smiled. "She actually left that piece of shit." He looked down at the ground and a tear fell from his face. He didn't even try to hide it.

My heart raced as I ran over to him and threw my arms around him. For the first time in a long time, I was thinking about someone other than myself. "Don't cry," I breathed, wanting nothing more than to comfort him. "I don't like to see you look so..."

Jace looked up and cupped my face. "What?" he pushed.

I hid my face in his chest and gripped his jacket. I didn’t want him to see my face. "Sad," I replied. "It makes me..."

"It makes you what," he whispered, "Tell me."

"It makes me sad and breaks my heart. Okay," I muttered. "It fucking hurts me to see you sad." I looked up into his eyes as his grip suddenly tightened around me. It gave me chills.

The look on his face was unreadable as he leaned forward and softly brushed his lips against mine. "That's how I feel about you every day." He pressed his soft lips to mine and then slowly pulled away. "My heart aches for you every day, but that won't keep me away. I wouldn't stop the suffering because I welcome the pain." He crushed his lips back to mine, causing me to lose my breath as I kissed him back with force.

A moan escaped my parted lips as I placed my hands to his stiff chest and squeezed. His heart pounded heavily against my open palm as he lifted me off  the ground and set me down on the railing. He forcefully pressed his body between my legs and gripped the back of my hair with both hands.

I felt like I was falling, but I wasn't afraid. I had Jace there to save me. "You do something to me," I moaned against his lips.

He smiled and ran his finger over my bottom lip. "You do something to me too. Something that I'll never be able to explain..."

His words trailed off as he kissed me again while fighting to catch his breath. His breathing was heavy and forced as he placed his hand to my chest and reached for my hand with his free one. "This is the only way to explain what you do to me." He firmly pressed my hand against his chest to reveal the heavy beating of his heart.

I had felt it earlier, but it was beating much faster and harder at the moment, making me feel weak.

Seeing him, standing there so vulnerable and open made him sexy. Everything from the sultry look on his face mixed with pain to the way that his chest looked in his fitted black T-shirt screamed 'sexy'. In that moment, I wanted him.

"I want you," I moaned, rubbing my hand over his chest. "Every part of you."

Jace froze momentarily before his hands snaked under my ass as he picked me up and forced me to wrap my legs around his waist.

His body felt nice and firm underneath mine and I liked it. I never wanted to let go. I squeezed my thighs tighter around him for support as he carried me through the warm house and into my old bedroom. He gently placed me down on the bed and yanked his jacket and T-shirt off. He stood there shirtless with every defined muscle flexing as he fought to breathe. "Anything that you want is yours," he said huskily. "All you have to do is take it."

My heart pounded heavily as I reached out and gripped the waist of Jace's faded jeans. I unbuttoned his jeans with one hand while running the other one up his tight stomach. Suddenly touching him wasn't even enough. I had to get a taste to satisfy my burning hunger. "I need you, Jace."

Jace smoothly stepped out of his jeans before he crawled onto the bed and hovered above me, his bare chest heaving above my face. "I'm already yours," he moaned.

I snaked my arms around his waist as I slowly ran my tongue over his every muscle. He tasted salty, but sweet against my tongue.

His stomach flexed as he watched my every move. Then suddenly he stripped me of my clothing and pulled me on top of him. I wanted him more now than ever. "You're beautiful," I moaned into his lips.

A smirk crossed his face before he took control of me, giving me the greatest pleasure I have ever known. The second time was somehow even better than the first. I had a feeling that it would only get better from there.

I awoke in the middle of the night to an empty bed. The room felt colder than it had before, but somehow I was covered in sweat. I felt down, shook up from the earlier events, and didn't want to be alone. Jackie was sleeping in his room and it made me wonder where he could’ve gone.     

I crawled out of bed and threw on a pair of sweats and an old T-shirt. I sauntered down the dark hall and stopped when I heard voices in the kitchen. Jace and Jackie were sitting in the kitchen drinking tea. Feeling as if I might have interrupted, I spun on my heel ready to head back to the room. "I'm sorry," I choked out.

Jackie and Jace both stood up and smiled. Jackie waved me over and pulled out a chair next to her. "No. Please join us," she said in a soft voice. "Jace was just telling me about you."

Jace's face turned red as he bit his bottom lip and took a sip of his tea. "Sit down. Let me get you some tea." He shook his head at Jackie and then reached for a mug. "Sorry if we woke you."

I grabbed the mug from out of his hand and took the seat next to Jackie. Sipping the tea, I looked between the both of them. "It's fine. It wasn't you guys. I was just having trouble sleeping," I admitted.

Jace walked over to me and kissed me on the forehead. His soft lips lingered for a moment as he rubbed the back of my head. "I'm sorry. I wish that I could take back-"

“Jace.” A smile spread across Jackie's pale face as she watched her brother's movements. "I wish that I had what you guys do."

Jace and I both looked over at her with confused looks.

"What!" She grinned. "I'm not blind. I can see that you guys love each other. Joe never truly loved me. I know this."

Jace swallowed hard as he reached out and poked his sister in the rib. "You should get some sleep." His jaw clenched. "You need to gain your strength back."

My heart skipped a beat as I glanced around the kitchen and then set my eyes back on Jace and his sister goofing off. That's what love and family should be like.

"Um… Maybe I'll go back to bed." I felt so confused. Why did my heart beat that way when she said that Jace and I love each other?

I stood up, but Jace placed his hand on my shoulder to make me sit back down.

"You should finish that tea first. You need something in your stomach." He glared over at his sister and rubbed his hand over his forehead. "Good night, Jackie." He laughed and nudged her in the side again.

Jackie looked back and forth between the both of us and laughed. Her face looked slightly better from earlier and she seemed to be doing okay. Jace managed to give us both hope. "Good night, kids." She stood up from the table and made her way back to Jace's room.

The room was silent once we were alone. It was a silence that made my heart race and palms sweat. I had never been so nervous.

Finally, breaking the silence, Jace set his mug in the sink and reached for my hand. "Let’s get some sleep. I'll explain everything about my sister tomorrow."

I nodded my head in agreement and followed him back to bed. It felt good to have him back by my side. It made me...happy.