Chapter 14

During dinner, Mr. Bennet scarcely spoke at all; but when the servants were withdrawn, he thought it
time to have some conversation with his guest, and therefore started a subject in which he expected him to shine, by
observing that he seemed very fortunate in his patroness. Lady Catherine de Bourgh’s attention to his wishes, and
consideration for his comfort, appeared very remarkable. Mr. Bennet could not have chosen better. Mr. Collins was
eloquent in her praise. The subject elevated him to more than usual solemnity of manner, and with a most important aspect
he protested that “he had never in his life witnessed such behaviour in a person of rank — such affability and
condescension, as he had himself experienced from Lady Catherine. She had been graciously pleased to approve of both of
the discourses which he had already had the honour of preaching before her. She had also asked him twice to dine at
Rosings, and had sent for him only the Saturday before, to make up her pool of quadrille in the evening. Lady Catherine
was reckoned proud by many people he knew, but he had never seen anything but affability in her. She had always
spoken to him as she would to any other gentleman; she made not the smallest objection to his joining in the society of
the neighbourhood nor to his leaving the parish occasionally for a week or two, to visit his relations. She had even
condescended to advise him to marry as soon as he could, provided he chose with discretion; and had once paid him a visit
in his humble parsonage, where she had perfectly approved all the alterations he had been making, and had even vouchsafed
to suggest some herself — some shelves in the closet upstairs.”

“That is all very proper and civil, I am sure,” said Mrs. Bennet, “and I dare say she is a very agreeable woman. It is
a pity that great ladies in general are not more like her. Does she live near you, sir?”

“The garden in which stands my humble abode is separated only by a lane from Rosings Park, her ladyship’s
residence.”

“I think you said she was a widow, sir? Has she any family?”

“She has only one daughter, the heiress of Rosings, and of very extensive property.”

“Ah!” said Mrs. Bennet, shaking her head, “then she is better off than many girls. And what sort of young lady is she?
Is she handsome?”

“She is a most charming young lady indeed. Lady Catherine herself says that, in point of true beauty, Miss de Bourgh
is far superior to the handsomest of her sex, because there is that in her features which marks the young lady of
distinguished birth. She is unfortunately of a sickly constitution, which has prevented her from making that progress in
many accomplishments which she could not have otherwise failed of, as I am informed by the lady who superintended her
education, and who still resides with them. But she is perfectly amiable, and often condescends to drive by my humble
abode in her little phaeton and ponies.”

“Has she been presented? I do not remember her name among the ladies at court.”

“Her indifferent state of health unhappily prevents her being in town; and by that means, as I told Lady Catherine one
day, has deprived the British court of its brightest ornaments. Her ladyship seemed pleased with the idea; and you may
imagine that I am happy on every occasion to offer those little delicate compliments which are always acceptable to
ladies. I have more than once observed to Lady Catherine, that her charming daughter seemed born to be a duchess, and
that the most elevated rank, instead of giving her consequence, would be adorned by her. These are the kind of little
things which please her ladyship, and it is a sort of attention which I conceive myself peculiarly bound to pay.”

“You judge very properly,” said Mr. Bennet, “and it is happy for you that you possess the talent of flattering with
delicacy. May I ask whether these pleasing attentions proceed from the impulse of the moment, or are the result of
previous study?”

“They arise chiefly from what is passing at the time, and though I sometimes amuse myself with suggesting and
arranging such little elegant compliments as may be adapted to ordinary occasions, I always wish to give them as
unstudied an air as possible.”

Mr. Bennet’s expectations were fully answered. His cousin was as absurd as he had hoped, and he listened to him with
the keenest enjoyment, maintaining at the same time the most resolute composure of countenance, and, except in an
occasional glance at Elizabeth, requiring no partner in his pleasure.

By tea-time, however, the dose had been enough, and Mr. Bennet was glad to take his guest into the drawing-room again,
and, when tea was over, glad to invite him to read aloud to the ladies. Mr. Collins readily assented, and a book was
produced; but, on beholding it (for everything announced it to be from a circulating library), he started back, and
begging pardon, protested that he never read novels. Kitty stared at him, and Lydia exclaimed. Other books were produced,
and after some deliberation he chose Fordyce’s Sermons. Lydia gaped as he opened the volume, and before he had, with very
monotonous solemnity, read three pages, she interrupted him with:

“Do you know, mamma, that my uncle Phillips talks of turning away Richard; and if he does, Colonel Forster will hire
him. My aunt told me so herself on Saturday. I shall walk to Meryton to-morrow to hear more about it, and to ask when Mr.
Denny comes back from town.”

Lydia was bid by her two eldest sisters to hold her tongue; but Mr. Collins, much offended, laid aside his book, and
said:

“I have often observed how little young ladies are interested by books of a serious stamp, though written solely for
their benefit. It amazes me, I confess; for, certainly, there can be nothing so advantageous to them as instruction. But
I will no longer importune my young cousin.”

Then turning to Mr. Bennet, he offered himself as his antagonist at backgammon. Mr. Bennet accepted the challenge,
observing that he acted very wisely in leaving the girls to their own trifling amusements. Mrs. Bennet and her daughters
apologised most civilly for Lydia’s interruption, and promised that it should not occur again, if he would resume his
book; but Mr. Collins, after assuring them that he bore his young cousin no ill-will, and should never resent her
behaviour as any affront, seated himself at another table with Mr. Bennet, and prepared for backgammon.