Chapter Five: Contemplating the Perilous Journey

After making the decision to leave Turkey and head for Germany, Abboud was faced with a major question: how could he get there? Every option was filled with danger, but he had to choose between two main routes: either crossing the sea to Greece or taking the land route through Bulgaria. Both options were difficult and dangerous, and Abboud felt deeply torn about making the decision.

The Land Route through Bulgaria:

Crossing the land border into Bulgaria meant walking long distances through mountains and dense forests. The route was dangerous due to the presence of human trafficking gangs and the difficulty of crossing without being detected by authorities. Many refugees who attempted to cross this way were beaten or detained, and some simply disappeared without a trace.

The Sea Route to Greece:

The other option Abboud considered was crossing the sea to Greece, a route that was especially fraught with danger. The small boats used by smugglers were often overcrowded and lacked safety standards. Sea storms and the risk of drowning loomed over anyone who tried this journey. Abboud had heard many stories of refugees who lost their lives at sea, and this option filled his heart with great fear.

Weighing the Options:

Abboud sat in his modest room, deeply pondering both options. He knew that no path was truly safe, and he had to choose between the lesser of two evils. The indecision was exhausting, and he realized he needed to talk to those closest to him for advice.

The first person Abboud thought of consulting was his mother. Since leaving Syria, his mother had been his greatest emotional support. Despite her difficult life in Syria, Abboud knew that her advice always stemmed from her deep love for him and her desire for him to live a better life.

One night, Abboud called his mother on the phone, as communication between Syria and Turkey had slightly improved during that time.

The Call with His Mother:

Abboud: "Mom, I’m really confused, and I don’t know what’s the best option. I want to go to Germany, but I don’t know if I should go by sea to Greece or choose the land route through Bulgaria."

His mother, knowing that Abboud was facing tough choices, sighed before responding: "My son, the decision isn’t easy. I know you’re scared of the risks, and I feel the same. My heart races with fear every time I think about the journey that lies ahead for you."

Abboud: "I know, Mom, but there’s no easy path. I can’t stay in Turkey any longer. Racism is getting worse, and opportunities are dwindling. I feel stuck here."

His mother: "Abboud, all I want is for you to reach safety. Whatever path you choose, I’m praying that God will protect you. But think carefully. The sea is dangerous, but the land route is no less so. Consult with those you trust, and make your decision wisely."

Her words gave him some comfort, but they didn’t provide the clear answer he was looking for. He knew that the decision ultimately rested on him alone.

Consulting His Friend Abbas:

After talking with his mother, Abboud decided to call his old friend Abbas, who was also living in Turkey. Abbas had previously attempted to cross the land border, but he failed and was deported back to Turkey.

Abboud: "Abbas, I’m thinking of leaving for Germany, but I’m torn between the land route to Bulgaria or the sea to Greece. You’ve tried both routes. What do you recommend?"

Abbas: "Abboud, both options are risky, but honestly, the land route is safer than the sea. When I tried to cross, yes, I was caught, but at least I didn’t risk my life like you would in the sea. The sea is treacherous, and you can’t control its waves or the weather."

Abboud: "But some people have made it across the sea, haven’t they?"

Abbas: "Yes, some have made it. But how many have lost their lives? Remember the stories we’ve heard about families who drowned, about children who were never found. If you ask me, I’d say try the land route. Even if you’re caught, you can try again. In the sea, if something goes wrong, there’s no second chance."

Abbas’s words made sense, but Abboud still wasn’t sure. The sea was tempting because it was shorter and could get him to Europe faster. But what about the risks?

The Call with Layla:

Layla was the one person he hesitated to talk to. Despite all the hardships they had gone through, she was the biggest motivator behind his journey. He wanted to know her opinion, but he was afraid of worrying her even more. In the end, he decided to call her and share his concerns.

Abboud: "Layla, I’m thinking of leaving for Germany. But I don’t know how I’ll get there—by sea or by land? Both options are terrifying."

Layla, in a calm voice: "Abboud, I can’t tell you what to do. But I want you to think of your safety first. I’m here waiting for you, and I want you to arrive safely. I can’t bear the thought of losing you in the sea or anywhere else."

Abboud: "I know, Layla. But time is running out. I can’t stay here in Turkey any longer. I have to try."

Layla: "Whatever decision you make, I’ll support you. Just be careful and don’t rush. Wait until you’re sure the path is as safe as possible."

Layla’s words weren’t the clear answer Abboud was searching for, but they were a strong emotional support for him. He knew she was worried about him and that she feared losing him.

The Final Decision:

After speaking with his mother, Abbas, and Layla, Abboud spent several sleepless nights. He thought about every word they had said to him and about all the stories he had heard from other refugees who had attempted similar journeys. The sea was fast but dangerous. The land route was slow but potentially less life-threatening.

In the end, Abboud decided to take the land route through Bulgaria. He knew the journey would be long and exhausting, but the hope of staying alive and reaching Germany outweighed his fear.